You and I have known each other for a long time. Years, in fact. We used to see each other multiple times a day. But you’ve changed. I don’t know why, but you are angry at me. Everytime I see you, even in moderation, you try to hurt me. And it works. I guess you think it’s funny to have me running to the bathroom every five minutes at work because I’m so gassy and bloated. And just from a tiny little pudding cup! And then to have me rush home from work because I need to go to the bathroom again, from the same damn pudding cup that I ate four hours ago? Our friendship is over. We will no longer be acquainted. You can tell that to your pals sorbitol and malitol as well. Maybe even aspartame, although I am still drawn to his bad-boy image.
PS – I hooked up with your enemy, sugar, today. So take that.