I went for a run/walk this morning. I just tried to map it but since it’s on a trail, I couldn’t exactly remember I stopped. I think it was between 5-6 miles. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to run the whoel thing so I ran for one song, walked for the next etc. I figured that I ran for about 25-30 minutes and walked for about an hour. It felt good but I definitely could have used some gloves. Afterwards, my hands were so cold that I could barely type on the computer! I have since warmed up, eaten some sushi and a vitamuffin and am watching a What Not To Wear marathon.
I do feel little full right now. I was fine with the sushi and even a little stuffed, but I really wanted the vitamuffin since I love them and they’re hard to find in Atlanta. I need to learn that I don’t have to eat everything that I want right now. The vitamuffins will still be there in a few hours when I might want a snack, or even tomorrow morning. I’m supposed to have dinner with some friends tonight. I don’t have that many points left so I really need to find a restaurant where I can get something healthy. My friends are no help! One suggested Austin Grill (Mexican) and the other suggested Maggianos. Of course, they’re both guys so I highly doubt they’re thinking of healthy food when they think of a restaurant.
I meant to post this earlier. At Thanksgiving dinner we all said what we were thankful for. It’s kind of cheesy but I thought it was interesting what everyone said.
Me – Thankful to be able to see my family since I live 600 miles away from them. Also, thankful that I still have a job.
Sister – Thankful that she has the opportunity to go to college.
Brother – Thankful that we haven’t been victims of any terrorists attacks and have been relatively safe.
Dad – Thankful for Obama.
Stepmohther – For some reason, I can’t remember what she said, I think it had to do with family.
Stepmother’s Aunt – Thankful for Obama.
Of course, I am also thankful to have a wonderful boyfriend.
I arrived in DC at about 10 am yesterday morning. I think that it’s key to go fly on Thanksgiving morning instead of Wednesday night. Sure, I’d have a few more hours with my family, but I’d rather not deal with all the stress of a crowded airport.
I had dinner with my dad, stepmother, brother, sister and stepmother’s aunt. All things considered, I didn’t eat tooooo badly. I made a feeble attempt to count the points and got something like 40 which is double what I’m supposed to eat, but I figured it was Thanksgiving and I couldn’t worry about points anyway. Plus, it just subtracted from my weekly alottment of points, which I will gain back with activity. I didn’t take any pictures of dinner because I didn’t really want to explain why I was doing it, so here’s a recap of what I had:
About 8 shrimp cocktail (although without the cocktail sauce – I don’t like it.)
A cosmo that my dad made
A big sweet potato with strusel and marshmallows. (So bad, but sooo good.)
Spicy Sauteed Broccoli
A little bit of salad
A very small slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream
A glass of white wine
I’m sure my diet could have done away with the sweet potoato but it was very good! I didn’t get a workout in, but I’m planning on running this morning on the Crescent Trail.
I’m so happy that it’s a three day week. I’m hoping that we’ll get out of work early tomorrow. They never like to tell us until that morning. We are having a Thanksgiving potluck. I made pumpkin bread:
I used the recipe from Hungry Girl except I used sugar instead of splenda. I figured it out to be 3 points per slice. I hope it’s good, it’s still cooling and I’m probably going to go to sleep before tasting it. Although I probably should sample it to make sure I don’t kill my co-workers.
Now is the facts of life theme song in your head like it is in mine?!
When I was taking the Lexapro, I felt somewhat numb. I didn’t feel sad or anxious, but at the same time, I didn’t laugh as easily. They call them happy pills, but really they mute your feelings, both good and bad. You might think you’re happier because the bad feelings aren’t there, but what you don’t realize is that you aren’t fully experiencing the good ones either. At least that’s what happened in my case. I didn’t even fully realize it until last night. I couldn’t sleep and Jason and I stayed up talking and laughing in our bed until after 2 am. It was stupid stuff; we were trying to think of potential dog names. But it was funny. And I can’t remember the last time I was almost in tears laughing like that. I really can’t. I’m not saying it never happened in the two years that I was on the medicine, but it wasn’t often. It’s been hard for me, the emotional withdrawal from the medicine, but I’m starting to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Okay, I promise that this isn’t going to turn into the Lee writes about depression day in and day out blog.
I just rearranged my computer. And what I mean by rearranged is moved. I have had this knot in my left shoulder/upper back area for a few months that doesn’t seem to be going away. I think it’s from my posture at work. My computer tower was sort of right underneath my desk where my feet should go, so I couldn’t really sit straight. I think I must have been subconsciously leaning to the side or something. I don’t know why it’s taken me two years to move the stupid thing. I feel like I’m sitting straighter now so maybe it’ll fix the problem. I really would like a massage but the way the economy is right now, I’m kind of scare to drop money on something big like that. As far as I know, my company is still doing okay, but you never know. Of course, I made a costly mistake today and that makes me worried. I guess there is nothing that I can do about it but try to be more detail oriented in the future.
I wanted to go to spin class today but it was raining and there was a lot of traffic so I missed the class. I ended up going to the gym later and doing 30 minutes on the arc trainer and then about 30 minutes of upper body weights. According to Weight Watchers, I’ve eaten 26.5 points today and gained 4 activity points. I guess that is okay. It pretty much cancels out to be pretty close to what I’m supposed to be eating.
We are a step closer to getting a dog! I don’t want to jinx it so I won’t talk about it until we get her, if we do.
I decided to join Weight Watchers online. I know that it’s basically just a fancy way of counting calories, but I’m hoping it’ll be more effective for me. I chose the Flex Plan and I get 21 points a day. Plus the extra 35 weekly points. Today went rather well considering I was a lazy bum all day. I ate 21.5 points. I might have forgotten to log something though; I signed up in the middle of the day.
I made one of their recipes for dinner – The Shrimp and Broccoli Chowder.
It was okay. It needed something, but I’m not sure what. I put some hot sauce in it and that helped, but it was still a little bland. It was, however, surprisingly filling. Maybe it’ll taste better tomorrow. I don’t know why it would, but maybe.
I know this isn’t the best week to start a diet with Thanksgiving but I feel motivated, so I figured why not? I guess I’ll try to save my weekly points for Thursday. Although, I don’t think I will eat that much considering I don’t eat turkey or many of the side dishes. I do eat pie.
Honestly, I thought I was better. I thought that I wasn’t depressed anymore. But not being on the medicine has just made me feel like I used to feel. Like I felt when I decided to go on it. So, herein lies the question, do I learn to cope with it or do I go back to letting a little pill do the coping for me?
Besides that, I honestly need to do something about this weight gain. I know I’m not technically overweight so I think it’s hard for some people to understand. But I don’t feel comfortable right now. I don’t feel comfortable in my clothes and really, I don’t feel comfortable in my skin. I tried on some jeans that were my favorite pair about two years ago. I could barely button them. I just don’t know how to get this under control. I always complain that I work out and I eat relatively well and don’t get results but I think that I forget to factor in alcohol. Sometimes I wonder if I do have a problem with it. I’m not an alcoholic but I have trouble stopping once I start. I can go all week and not have a drink, that’s easy for me, but if I have one, next thing you know, I’m having five. I’ve struggled with this for a long time, since college I guess. I think that Caitlin asked her readers about their drinking habits a few days ago. Most people said that they used to drink a lot in college but have cut down. I haven’t. And I guess not many of my friends have either. I don’t know why it hasn’t tapered off. I used to smoke a lot of pot in college and after I graduated, I just lost interest in it and stopped. I don’t know why I haven’t lost interest in getting drunk. I think about this a lot. People tell me that they don’t think my drinking habits are a problem, but honestly, I sort of do. I just don’t know how to change them, really. I have to learn moderation. I have issues with it in many areas of my life. Food obviously being another one.
That was probably a rambling, non-sensical post, but I feel better getting it off my chest. I know that a few people read this, please comment!
PS – I just discovered Twitter. Add me – Djtippietoes.
I am not going to get into it here, but work this week has been very twilight zonesque. I am just very glad that it’s over and that next week I’m going to MD to visit my family for Thanksgiving. I get so frustrated, though, when I tell people about this work drama and they don’t seem to think it’s a big deal. Or they tell me that I’m lucky to have a job. I know all this but, throw me a bone, indulge me. Tell me that the stuff going on is bizarre.
Enough about that, it’s Saturday morning and I do not need to be thinking about work. Jason’s parents are visiting and they are leaving this morning. I feel like such an old person, every night, I’ve had to excuse myself and go to bed at 10ish. I just have settled into a sleeping pattern where 10 is my bedtime. On Thursday night, we went to a Mexican restaurant to have dinner. They also had trivia so we played. I was seriously yawning at 9 o’clock. Plus, the food wasn’t that great and the trivia guy was hard to hear from where we were sitting. Last night, we went to a big Democrat bar, Manuel’s for dinner. We were going to go hear some blues at Blind Willie’s but everyone got tired and we went home and played Trivial Pursuit instead.
The morning workout has been a rousing success this week. I decided to make myself go Tue, Wed and Thursday. I gave myself the extra hour to sleep on Fridays. It was so nice to come home after work and have dinner and just veg out instead of thinking about when I’m going to the gym. The only problem with going in the morning, so far, is that I haven’t given myself enough time. I’ve been setting my alarm for 6, but actually getting up more around 6:20 and by the time I get dressed and get there, it’s 6:40. That basically gives me 30-35 minutes to work out. I need to have at least 45, I think. Which means getting up even earlier. Bah, but I can do it.