You take the good, you take the bad

Now is the facts of life theme song in your head like it is in mine?!

When I was taking the Lexapro, I felt somewhat numb.  I didn’t feel sad or anxious, but at the same time, I didn’t laugh as easily.  They call them happy pills, but really they mute your feelings, both good and bad. You might think you’re happier because the bad feelings aren’t there, but what you don’t realize is that you aren’t fully experiencing the good ones either.   At least that’s what happened in my case.  I didn’t even fully realize it until last night.  I couldn’t sleep and Jason and I stayed up talking and laughing in our bed until after 2 am.  It was stupid stuff; we were trying to think of potential dog names.  But it was funny.  And I can’t remember the last time I was almost in tears laughing like that.  I really can’t.  I’m not saying it never happened in the two years that I was on the medicine, but it wasn’t often.  It’s been hard for me, the emotional withdrawal from the medicine, but I’m starting to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Okay, I promise that this isn’t going to turn into the Lee writes about depression day in and day out blog.

I just rearranged my computer.  And what I mean by rearranged is moved.  I have had this knot in my left shoulder/upper back area for a few months that doesn’t seem to be going away.  I think it’s from my posture at work.  My computer tower was sort of right underneath my desk where my feet should go, so I couldn’t really sit straight.  I think I must have been subconsciously leaning to the side or something.  I don’t know why it’s taken me two years to move the stupid thing.  I feel like I’m sitting straighter now so maybe it’ll fix the problem.  I really would like a massage but the way the economy is right now, I’m kind of scare to drop money on something big like that.  As far as I know, my company is still doing okay, but you never know.   Of course, I made a costly mistake today and that makes me worried.  I guess there is nothing that I can do about it but try to be more detail oriented in the future.

I wanted to go to spin class today but it was raining and there was a lot of traffic so I missed the class.  I ended up going to the gym later and doing 30 minutes on the arc trainer and then about 30 minutes of upper body weights.  According to Weight Watchers, I’ve eaten 26.5 points today and gained 4 activity points.  I guess that is okay.  It pretty much cancels out to be pretty close to what I’m supposed to be eating.  

We are a step closer to getting a dog!  I don’t want to jinx it so I won’t talk about it until we get her, if we do.

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3 responses to “You take the good, you take the bad

  1. we might get a dog, too. i am thinking february or march . . .

    as for the massage, i say GET IT. it will make you feel so good and really is only the cost of a couple of dinners out . . .

  2. What kind of dog are you thinking of getting, Sarah? We’ve been approved by a local Golden Retriever rescue and now are just waiting not so patiently for one!

  3. i really want a west highland white terrier. i am obsessed with them. i am scared though because i REALLY want to be a good dog mom and i am worried it is going to be hard with our jobs. i have zero call from february to june, though!