Ramblin’ On

Take notice of the bounty of goodies that is displayed in the office breakroom. If you look closely, you’ll see that this table of deliciousness is different, save for the popcorn tin, from what I posted last week.
It’s hard to ignore; the break room is where the water cooler is and I go in there multiple times a day to fill up my water cup.

I have a co-worker who, in the past year or so, has lost a lot of weight, something like 50 pounds. I asked her how she passes up the goodies everyday and she said that she has a picture of herself up in her office at her heaviest weight and that picture helps her see the big picture. She suggested that I do something similar. So I took a picture of a pair of jeans. They’re about 3 or 4 years old which is kind of evident by their lack of style. In any event, these jeans used to be super comfortable. Now, I can barely zip them up. My thighs resemble sausages in them. So my goal, with all of that weight watchers shit and working out and all is to fit into these jeans again. And then throw them away. I am not allowed to get rid of them until they fit. Weird logic, I guess but it’s easy to just dismiss an item of clothes as something to give to good will because it’s old rather than because it’s too small.

So the picture of the jeans is taped to my monitor.

According to B, my co-worker, every time I am tempted by the holiday food, I should look at my jeans picture and think about the bigger picture. Which is going to make me happier in the long run? Wearing the jeans comfortably or eating a piece of chocolate?

So that’s the idea, but sometimes it just doesn’t work that way. Like after I ate my healthy lunch today, I WANTED SOME CHOCOLATE. I literally told myself that I needed to get some more water (even though my cup wasn’t empty) and tippietoed around the chocolate and I just couldn’t help myself. I weighed my choices and I went for it. A piece of Harry & David’s chocolate. (The gold wrapped candies on the table) And you know what? It was delicious. And you know what else? One piece of chocolate isn’t going to derail my weight loss. That one piece satisfied me and now I am not sitting in my office, trying to find excuses to go into the break room again. My water cup is definitely full right now.

I just typed the paragraph above and thought about it. Do I really feel that way? It’s hard, I have so many conflicting thoughts about the whole thing. I read a lot of blogs where the author’s have employed the whole moderation is key theory and have lost weight. Then I see people like my co-worker, who doesn’t seem to ever indulge and she’s lost a lot of weight. In my mind, I do everything right. I eat well, I work out, I indulge infrequently. But because none of this seems to be working, I start thinking that what I think of as infrequent indulgences might really be too much. I mean, something is not working. I just can’t put my finger on what. I don’t want to think it was the one Harry & David’s Chocolate (which was maybe 2 points) but I don’t know what else to think.

Okay, soooo rambly. Sorry.

I wrote that stuff earlier today. Sometimes when I’m sort of bored at work, I think I get too into my head. I start thinking too much which inevitably leads to worrying. Fortunately, the rest of my day got better.

I dont’ know how much I’ve written about this, probably not that much, but Jason and I have been trying to adopt a dog for a while now. We met a new one today and I think he might be the one. Here is me trying to get him to smile for the camera, although it looks like I’m choking him!
We visited with the dog for about an hour. The way that the organization works is you meet the dog (which in itself can be harder said than done; there sometimes are waitlists) then you decide if you like him, then the foster of the dog decides if they like YOU and if all goes well, you get the dog. The foster seemed to like us, so I guess we’ll know tomorrow if we get him!

After our doggie visit, we went to Fontainesfor dinner. They have $5 oyster specials on Tuesdays. I’m not a fan, but Jason likes them a lot.
I normally get mussels but decided on something different. I had the snow crab legs.
They were pretty good but NOTHING can compare to Maryland Blue Crab. I’m so spoiled from growing up there.

I also had a light beer and a few fries. And some popcorn and a weight watchers ice cream. Oops.

HBBC – 2


5 responses to “Ramblin’ On

  1. I forgot if I’ve asked you this before, but have you had your thyroid checked? Your weight gain is very similar to the way mine went. Not massive amounts of weight, but fairly small amounts that add up to bigger amounts no matter what.

  2. Adina – yes, I’ve gotten my thyroid checked and it’s fine. This problem really started when I started the pill.

  3. Hey! I just looked around your blog, i am almost positive I’ve been here-but I am a little confused. I think it is perfectly fine to indulge in holiday treats and still be able to fit in your jeans!

  4. and sausages for thighs-that’s a little harsh on yourself don’t ya think? You are beautiful the way you are, NO MORE FAT TALK!

  5. You’re right, I was being really harsh on myself with that comment. I think I was just having a bad day. But it’s true, negative talk like that is just going to promote a negative self-image. That’s actually something that I’ve struggled with for a long time.