Rose asked me if having a deadline for weight loss makes me nervous. In this case, no. I do want to lose weight for my wedding, but if I don’t, I am going to be the only person who notices. When I look at pictures of myself when I was 10-15 pounds lighter, I don’t really look that different. I can tell a major difference in how my clothes fit or rather don’t fit now and obviously, the number on the scale is higher, but I don’t LOOK that different. So if my wedding photos show me at this weight, so be it. Although I still would like to be smaller.
As you can see, I tend to have a lot conflicting thoughts about weight loss. One day I’m scrutinizing my diet for things that I can change and getting frustrated at my lack of progress and the next day I’m fine about it all. I guess what I really wish is that I could get where I want to be, weight wise, but be happy with myself during the whole process. And that’s what’s hard.
Boot camp was especially hard today. We had to do a lot of running back and forth. It’s funny, I can run for miles and feel fine but running 6 lengths of a little field and back makes me out of breath. I guess I’m running faster and also, I don’t ever have the time to get into the groove of running. Aside from the running, today was just very cardio intensive. There were also box jumps, stair runs, dips, step ups, mountain climbers, burpees and a bunch of other things that I can’t remember. And now I need to go to sleep so I can do it again tomorrow.