Thanks for all your responses on my previous post. I really was being too hard on myself. I actually really had a fun night and there was no reason to feel so bad about it. Unfortunately, I couldn’t really help it and was honestly very mad at myself.

I think I’m struggling a bit with depression lately. I think that’s where the guilt is stemming from. I took anti-depressants for about two years and stopped a year ago. At first, it was sort of hard to get used to life without them, but I did and felt fine. Until about two weeks ago. It’s a familiar feeling, although one I haven’t felt in a while. The signs are all there – guilt, sleeping more than normal and just a general sense of sadness. It sort of makes sense that I was upset about drinking. Alcohol, after all, is a depressant too.

I’m worried about my father. I just want his surgery to be over so I will know what’s going to happen and what my bladder-less dad will be like. I am hoping that once it’s over, a weight will be lifted off my shoulders. I have other big things coming up, but this is the only bad one and this is the one that’s stressing me out the most.

Let’s talk about funny things instead of depression now, shall we? I have two little gems.

1. Last night I was in Kroger and I noticed that their generic version of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter is called Butter, It’s Not. I have no idea why, but I find this very funny. Speaking of which, I buy normal butter, not buttery spread.

2. I’ve been trying to get the domain forever. Someone had it and let it expire and now it’s in domain limbo land where it’s waiting to be renewed or deleted. I don’t think the previous owner will renew it because there was nothing on it. I went to check the other day and it gave me a list of other suggestions including… Haha! What if my blog was called In My Abdomen?

Now back to your regularly scheduled food and workout talk. I have dinner plans (yes, again) tonight, so I did my workout at lunch. I downloaded a new app for my phone called ifitness. It’s really cool. It has a million different weight lifting exercises and allows you to track your progress and everything. Some of the exercises even have a little video that demonstrates the move. I did the following:

french press, 15 lbs, 3 sets of 12
standing concentration curls, 7.5 lbs, 3 sets of 12 (each side)
hammer curls, 15 lbs, 3 sets of 2
bench press, not sure of weight on machine, 3 sets of 10
lat pulldown, 50 lbs, 1 set of 10, 40 lbs, 2 sets of 12

Then I did a 2 mile run on the treadmill.

I am going to a restaurant called Portofino for dinner. My mom has been dating this guy for about 6 months and he has a conference in Atlanta so he’s taking me and Jason out to dinner. I’ve only met him one time. Hope it’s not too awkward!


26 responses to “Monday

  1. Aw! I’m a little late to your previous post on your guilt over drinking too much…seriously, you aren’t alone. I’ve woken up after a girls night (or two, or three) and thought to myself, duh, I seriously didn’t need that fourth or er, fifth, glass of wine last night. Like you, I’d never do something stupid but still, felt silly for drinking a wee bit more than maybe I could/should have. BUT, the way I look at it, is life is meant to be enjoyed, and if that means an extra drink or a few here or there during a party or a gathering with some of your favorite friends, so bet it. As long as you are safe and are genuinely having a good time, I don’t think it’s wrong and you shouldn’t feel badly for it, especially as it relates to the added calories. You workout and eat healthfully the majority of the time, you’re allowed to indulge, too! PS. Good luck at dinner tonight, I’m sure it’ll end up being fun and not awkward, hang in there re: your dad too. hugs!

  2.! Do it! haha I hope you’re able to get your URL soon. 🙂

    I’m sorry you’re not feeling 100% right now – hang in there. This too shall pass.

  3. So sorry you’ve been feeling blue lately. I definitely think life events can trigger depression. Hang in there Lee, we’re all here for you.

    That is hilarious about Kroger’s ICBINB! haha!! And I love, haha!! 😉

  4. Stay strong, girl…sounds like you’re dealing with some serious stuff, so it’s natural to feel a little down. Lean on your friends and family 🙂

  5. angieinatlanta

    Have fun tonight! I’ve heard good things about Portofino!

    I think the way you are feeling and reacting right now to everything that’s going on is completely normal. Just remember to take care of yourself; sometimes it’s okay to be selfish!

  6. sorry you’ve been having a rough time, and i hope that your dad’s surgery goes well!

    the “butter, its not” is a pretty funny generic brand…way to not be very creative, lol. i also buy real butter 🙂

    “in my abdomen”..hahahaha!! i would definitely read a blog with a name like that!
    hey, maybe you should take it!

  7. Sorry to hear about the sadness…maybe you should go into the doctor…just to see what they have to say? Can’t hurt! Glad you’re so open about it- I think thats awesome. haha in my abdomen…sounds appetizing.

  8. First off, you should totally buy! 🙂

    And second, I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling, I know how hard it can be trying to deal with stuff, especially once a hint of depression kicks in. I can’t imagine the stress that you must be under with your father’s surgery; but, just be kind to yourself. You deserve it and you need it!

  9. I love Portofino! Yum! I hope you post what you had.

    Sorry about all of the stuff you’re dealing with lately. Maybe going to the dr. would help, like Erica said?

  10. I think feeling down is a natural reaction to your current life circumstances. Hang in there:-)

  11. Thinking of you and your Dad.

    The “Butter, It’s Not” totally made me laugh.

  12. I live in Alabama and it’s been a much colder and “grey-er” winter than normal. I’ve been off wellbutrin for about 9 months and have been considering going back. I talked myself out of it until the spring, thinking maybe the weather does have some extra edge that I’m not aware of. What I am trying to do is take care of myself. Treat myself better. I’ve had a horrible past 5 months with my father’s illness and near death and he’s back in the hospital now. I can’t help my family if I’m not well myself. So, I gave myself a few weeks to try to take care of ME and if it comes to going back to the medicine, then I will. 🙂

    Speaking of domain names, can you imagine all the domain names for “katrina”?

    Personally, I like the name inmyepigastrium. That one’s a winner 😉 A real conversation piece.

  13. if this is any comfort at all, my boss has been doing really well over a year after he had his bladder removed, and i think he’s about the same age as your dad. he recovered quickly (well 2 months, but that is pretty quick for these types of surgeries) and has resumed working and travelling (in India as we speak) and drinking copious amounts of wine as usual.

    i am hoping the best for your dad, and really think he will still have a great quality of life after the surgery.

  14. I hope everything turns out OK and you feel better. My thoughts are with you and your family.
    The butter, it’s not thing cracked me up, thanks for the laugh!

  15. I’m sorry that you’re going through a tough time. At least you’re dealing with your emotions, instead of running from them. We live in a “quick fix” world, so waiting to see how your father’s surgery goes must be incredibly difficult and it only seems natural that it has been wearing on you for months now.

    LOL- Butter, it’s not. I hope that your dinner went well. I like Portofino… very authentic!

  16. Hang in there and focus on the positives. When I go through a “low” period, I find myself listing everything I have to be grateful for and focusing on being nice and treating everyone around me with respect.

    My thoughts are also with you and your family to pull through, but great that you’re facing the emotions. Great blog, BTW 🙂

  17. Goodluck with dinner tonight. I will be thinking of you! Also..hang in there honey! I know you have a lot on your plate right now but just keep putting those positive thoughts out there! Keith always says, “Name it and Claim it!” Name what you want, Lee, and then CLAIM IT! 🙂 Love you!

  18. runninghealthy

    Ha, “inmyabdomen” would be awesome. Thanks for being honest about your feelings, even when its touchy and personal things like depression. Its really easy to get down about things and let anxiety build up (at least for me), but its good that you can recognize whats going on and hopefully get past it. I hope things go well with dinner!

  19. HAHAHA! I love your two funny tidbits. I’m still chuckling…tee hee…
    Have fun at dinner tonight!

  20. lol @ inmyabdomen. That would be interesting! I’m sorry that you’re feeling down. It’s only natural to feel that way given all that you have going on. I would be a wreck if my father were to have surgery. And yeah, planning a wedding is super stressful, so it makes sense.

    Good luck with the dinner!

  21. I am SUPER close to my family, and I can’t even imagine how I’d react if something happened to one of them. I worry about it sometimes, and it makes me so nervous/anxious. I pray your dad is okay – after the surgery, maybe that will help to lighten your load a little bit?

    How ’bout 😉

  22. You are going through a lot, so your feelings make sense. The fact that you are able to identify them and be open with them, is a REALLY good thing.

    Surround yourself with good people who make you laugh, laughter realeases the good old endorphins.

    Please let me know if you ever need anything. Sending good vibes your way!!!

  23. I think you have a lot on your plate, but you are doing a good job staying in tune with your feelings.

    I hope the dinner wasn’t too awkward!

  24. “Butter, It’s Not” just gave me a chuckle too. Thanks 🙂