Generally speaking, the people who read my blog are interested in living a healthy lifestyle. I am too. But does that commitment ever make you feel isolated? I enjoy exercise, I honestly do. But sometimes it does get in the way of well, life. I set up these training plans for myself all the time. If I’m not training for something, I feel lost. But when I am training, I am constantly turning down invitations because I have to train. Actually, even if I’m not training, I still have a weekly workout plan in my head. I’m okay flip-flopping it around but I don’t like to work out less than 5 days a week if I can help it.
I guess one of my main problems is that I don’t have very many running buddies. I have a friend, Joan, who I trained for my last two half-marathons with, but she’s really it. She’s not running the ING with me though. I have a few other friends who run, but either they’re more casual and don’t want to commit to races or they run a lot faster than I do. I know that running can be a form of socializing, but for me, it never is; 90% of the time, exercise is something I do by myself. My social outlets tend to centered around food which my mother says is common for our generation. The easy thing to do would be to join a running group. I realize this but am hesitant because I’m slow. No bones about it; I am a slow runner. I have the endurance, but I don’t have the speed and that makes me self-conscious especially given that I am not new to the sport at all.
Here’s another example: I just got an email from a co-worker asking if I (and some other people) wanted to go out to lunch. My first inclination is to say no. I brought my lunch and am planning on eating that because I know what’s in it and I want to eat a lighter meal because I’m going to a friend’s house for wine and cheese later tonight. (I actually ended up going because it was Mellow Mushroom and I felt that I could get a healthy meal there.)
The desire to live a healthy lifestyle is about balance. I just never know if I’m balancing it well or not. I don’t over-train and I do let myself indulge sometimes but I am always feeling like I have to say no more than the average person. I can’t tell if that’s good or bad. Jason seems to think that I do everything right; I work out all the time and I eat healthy. But I don’t see it like that. I know that I’m really hard on myself a lot, but it’s just difficult for me to tell when I’m being too strict and when I’m being realistic. For example, it’s okay to have a slice of pizza here and there but when do occasional indulgences become commonplace? Where do you draw the line? I struggle with moderation. I can eat zero cookies or I can eat ten cookies, but I can’t eat just one cookie.
I signed up for the Silver Comet 10K next Saturday. I am doing it by myself and I wish I had friends to run it with. I’ve done more races by myself than with people I know, so I’m fine with it, but I do like experiencing races with my friends. It’s silly but I’ve been feeling sorry for myself all morning because I’m going to have to go at it alone. I make Jason come with me to the longer races, the half marathons, that I do by myself. I feel bad about it; he has to get up early and wait around for 2+ hours and then he has to go to work later in the day. But there is something about crossing the finish line and having someone there for you (or waiting for your friend to cross the line after you) that makes the experience more meaningful. I don’t mind doing the actual race alone, but it’s kind of anti-climatic to cross the finish line, grab and banana and walk to your car alone. I guess because there is no one to revel in the post-race high with you.
I’ve realized that little Ms. Photography Class here hasn’t posted any pictures in a really long time. Here goes:
My mom’s fridge. Like mother, like daughter? All that Chobani is hers. The Diet Coke was for Jason. (And secretly for me)
In Maryland. My stepmother made me that necklace. Nice, huh? She’s into beading.
Yesterday’s breakfast. This sounds awful, but I promise it’s good. 1/2 cup cottage cheese, 1 tbsp almond butter, some Kashi cereal, some frozen mixed berries and a generous squirt of agave nectar.
Last night’s dinner. Jason baked some chicken breasts and I topped mine with diced tomatoes and feta cheese. This dinner was unimpressive. This was a frozen chicken breast and I’ve determined that I do not like frozen chicken or fish at all. It just doesn’t defrost right or something and the texture always seems off. Although, frozen Trader Joe’s stuff seems to taste better for whatever reason.