Today was a tired day. Jason and Murphy went to visit Jason’s parents in South Carolina for his “weekend” so I took advantage of the quiet house last night and got down to business – cleaning. At any time, our landlord might want to show the place, so I figured it’s probably not a great idea for an potential renters, and especially our landlord, to see the place in it’s messy glory. So I straightened. And swept. And Swiffered (until it broke and then I sponged). In the midst of it all, I was sort of getting excited about how the wedding stuff is coming together and is in 45 DAYS and didn’t end up settling down to sleep until almost 1 am. 6.5 hours of sleep does not a happy Lee make.
45 days until the wedding! Six weeks from Saturday. I just realized the six weeks part and that makes it seem really close. So close, that I had to text Jason and tell him that it’s only 6 weeks away! It’s odd, after the move and the wedding, my life will be very different. But still sort of the same. I’m still me but I’ll be married and have my own little house with my own little family. I’ll have a new name. A new address. If people haven’t met me before, they will have never know me as I am now, Lee that lives with her fiance (or boyfriend) in the townhouse near the Highlands. I know that marital status and where I live hardly define me as a person, but it’ll just be weird to suddenly be Lee and her husband who live in Tucker. I wonder if I’ll feel like an impostor for a while.
It felt weird with Jason and Murphy not being home and I didn’t like it. I have lived by myself once, for two years. A lot of people, as I did, go from living with their parents, to living with their friends, to living by themselves, to living with their significant other. And each of those steps is sort of a big deal on it’s own. I’ve never been one of those people who cherishes her alone time. I lived by myself because it was easier. I didn’t have any friends who wanted to be roommates and I didn’t want to live with a stranger at 28 years old. At first, I was lonely and it was unsettling coming home to a quiet house. But I got used to it and coming home to no one became the norm. But I never really loved it. I never said, “I love living by myself.” Even though I can be shy, I am in constant need of interaction with other people. I would hate working from home for that reason.
So, you know how I mentioned that I listened to This American Life while I was on the elliptical yesterday? Well, I neglected to mention that I cried while I listened to This American life while I was on the elliptical yesterday. I was listening to a podcast from a few weeks ago where sex columnist Dave Savage was speaking about his lapsed Catholicism. Parts of his talk were about his mother’s death and his voice was catching and I got all weepy. In the gym. In public. How embarrassing! I cry easily. Especially when I’m about to get my period.
Tonight, there was no crying as I did the back and biceps p90x dvd. Although, I want to cry because I’m getting really sick of doing the same dvds over and over. I’m also sick of hearing Tony Horton say the same thing over and over. So I put it on silent and listened to the 90’s alternative station of Slacker Radio through my iphone. Then after that, I registered for an ipod dock speaker.